Getting Things Moving

• This is after you have had your colorectal surgeon/proctologist/gastroenterologist/doctor or medical professional ensure everything is all good in your rectum/anus area (as in, there are no open wounds or ulcers, you are healed from fissure repair, everything is good)

•  If you are someone who enjoys bottoming, you may want to do things (such as the following) so you can have a pleasurable experience and things are comfortable going forward.

• This isn’t just important for bottoming, it is important to for the area to heal as well! Things you can do include:

• Massaging the tissue (anal self massage) helps increase blood flow (important for making sure everything stays healthy)!

• You can start by massaging the inside and outside of your anus once a day with a finger, and penetrating the inside of your anus as far as you feel comfortable with (obviously stop if anything hurts)

• You don’t necessarily have to have a fissure to do this!

• You can also have been recovering from an IBD flare or something like the sort, it follows the same principle (stimulate blood flow and promote tissue healing).

•  For flares, it may help to try massaging the anal area and try a finger or two if you are unsure about how your anorectal area is doing post-flare.

• This is actually a recommended treatment for anal fissures (anal  self massage) and in some studies, is more effective at healing the area/making things get better than anal dilators.

• And of course, anal dilators - dilators are actually a medical device (originally - there are obviously non-medical dilators) so your doctor might actually provide/recommend you use one (in a specific circumstance),

• HOWEVER: DO ask a doctor or other trusted healthcare professional if you want to dilate frequently, as using one too much (don’t go wild with it, everything in moderation ya know) can cause fecal incontinence (in extreme cases if you use it too much).

• In this case, they will give you guidance regarding size, etc.

• If your doctor is not prescribing your dilator, here are things to keep in mind.

• Material: not all dilators are created equal and should be put in your body. Look for dilators made from body safe materials such as medical-grade (some may say that or “surgical grade”), free from BPA and phthalates. Safe materials include:

• Silicone (includes ‘medical-grade silicone’)

• Polycarbonate

• Stainless steel

• Important: you also need to do a little prep before using a dilator! This includes:

• POOP: Try to poop or have a bowel movement - inserting a dilator can make you feel like you have the urge to poop since they tend to sit pretty high up in the rectum (you will feel a touch uncomfortable if you don’t get that one out of the way)

• Time, Place, and Relaxation: You want to make sure you’re in a place you can relax, unwind, and take your time. It’s not exactly something you want to rush or feel interrupted or tense doing.

• Lube: I feel like I say this a billion times, but I do that because it’s true. Use lube.

• This is necessary to ease the dilator in and prevent any tearing or abrasion. Be sure to put lube on the tip of the dilator and around the anal opening. Silicone lube is best for anal play because it’s pretty long lasting BUT! Don’t use silicone lube with a silicone dilator - use a water based lube (silicone breaks down silicone)

How do you use a dilator?

• Important question! Obviously with plenty of lube.

• Seriously though, you will want to insert it after your anus/butthole/whatever you personally call it is thoroughly lubed up and you are in a comfortable position

• This could be laying down on your side, laying down knees tucked in, whatever floats your boat)

• As always, slow and steady wins the race!

• Place the tip of the dilator against your anus with minimal pressure (you shouldn’t feel any pain or anything, just a small amount of pressure)

• Take a deep breath, and you can begin to increase the amount of pressure you have on the dilator as you EXHALE

• Insert the dilator sloooooooowly over 4-5 minutes about an inch or so at a time (YMMV, and everyone’s body and butt is different. What takes you 20 minutes may take another person 45 minutes and that is a-okay)

• If you feel any resistance, take the dilator out, reapply more lube (be generous) and reinsert it if you feel comfortable doing so.

• If it goes in easily after this, you can continue, but if you still feel resistance, OR PAIN, stop, reassess, and take a break.

• Minor discomfort is normal but if it hurts a lot slowly pull it out and try again when you are ready - sometimes our bodies just aren’t always in the best place for things at every time and that is okay. You'll get there (if that is what you want!)

Ok. What do I do now?

• Well the world is your oyster, my friend - and what you do after you  have successfully inserted a dilator depends on your goals/what you want to do/what you like.

• If dilation is your only goal (making sure your anus isn’t too tight after flares/fissures/etc) there is no reason to keep it inside of you after you have gotten it in all of the way.

• If pleasure/sexual satisfaction is your goal - you can experiment with that a little, try a GENTLE in-and-out or circular motion and see if that feels good. If using it as a buttplug, you can try incorporating other activities (as you are comfortable with)

• Since  buttplugs stimulate the "G-spot" in everyone (fun fact) you may find  this makes penetrative, non-penetrative, or oral sex or exploration of erogenous zones more fun. 

• Have fun! (within limits of course, be safe and all of that, don't do anything harmful, etc.)

• When you are ready to take it out, remember - slow and steady! Try to take it out gently in line with your anus and rectum (don’t pull it out at some weird angle)

• As we have discussed earlier, your butt has many germs and stuff living in and around it, so make sure to wash your dilator after you use it with a fragrance-free soap and warm water (or as directed on the one you have)

• After care for yourself is important too - take a shower and wash your self off, and maybe take a bath with some Epsom salt to relax your muscles and bring down whatever tension you may have.