Emotional and Psychological Coping as an LGBTQ+ Person
Whether you have IBD or not, it is a really tough time to be LGBTQ+ right now, especially if you happen to have lived experiences of another marginalized identity (intersecting or intersectionality if you want to get academic with it)
Unfortunately, sometimes things just are bad, and there is not number of coping strategies or deep breathing that will make overarching societal structures or individuals stop being hateful, stop discrimination, or the weight of the world go completely away, but sometimes, all we can do is the best we can.
This is by no-means a cure-all for minority stress or the daily struggles/increased barriers you may face as an LGBTQ+ person, just some ways to get by until better days come.
There are very real impacts of prejudice, discrimination, and stigma on the mental and physical health of individuals belonging to marginalized groups.
These experiences, which are unique to minority groups (minority stress), lead to increased stress, potentially resulting in adverse health outcomes, both mental (increased depression and anxiety) and physical (higher blood pressure, more inflammation, migraines, etc)
Thus, coping with these stressors as an LGBTQ+ person is very important.
Discrimination is one stressor that can contribute to this.
LGBTQ discrimination remains a pervasive issue across many aspects of life, from workplaces and healthcare settings to schools and public spaces, and can can cause long lasting pain.
To first understand the impact of discrimination on our stress and health as LGBTQ+ people, we need to understand how this functions.
Understanding the different forms of discrimination (Overt, Covert, Systemic)
Overt discrimination includes hate speech, bullying, or physical violence
Covert forms may appear as exclusion or biased hiring practices.
Systemic discrimination is embedded in institutions—such as laws or policies that marginalize the LGBTQ community.
Understanding the Emotional Toll (Anger, Sadness, Frustration, Isolation)
The emotional toll of prejudice can be overwhelming.
Many individuals feel sadness, anger, or even guilt in response to being treated unfairly.
These reactions are normal, but if left unaddressed, they can lead to prolonged distress and disconnection.
Recognize the Psychological Impact (Anxiety, Depression, Internalized Stigma)
Experiencing ongoing discrimination often leads to long-term mental health challenges like anxiety and depression.
Internalized stigma—believing negative stereotypes about oneself—can erode self-worth, and lead to things such as internalized homophobia and issues described here, leading to difficulties with sex and bottoming too.
Coping Strategies
Prioritizing Self-Care (Rest, Nutrition, Exercise)
Taking care of your body (and mind) is the foundation of mental resilience and critical to ensuring you don’t get burnt out physically and mentally. Sometimes we need to take a rest, a break and look after ourselves so we can be there for ourselves and others in the long run
Regular sleep, nutritious meals, and consistent movement (doesn’t have to be a 5k, can be walking the dog, walk in the park, going to a museum) help the nervous system regulate emotions more effectively when coping with discrimination.
Practicing Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques
Mindfulness practices such as deep breathing, body scans, or simply observing your surroundings can help reduce overwhelming emotions and help make it easier to cope.
These tools support staying present rather than consumed by fear or anger triggered by discriminatory experiences.
It’s okay to be angry and scared though, these are absolutely normal and justified emotions - but it’s important we don’t spend every waking moment angry or scared. It can be very easy to do that, and reasonably so, but in the long run, it will not be good for whatever digestive issues you have (your IBD or IBS) or your mental health.
Setting Boundaries and Limiting Exposure to Negative Environments
Not every space or person is safe or healthy - if someone or something is always putting you in a bad mood or leaving you upset, it’s okay to distance yourself.
This involves setting healthy boundaries (I’m not saying ghost everyone) - this may be by limiting conversations with certain individuals or stepping away from toxic settings and is vital when coping with discrimination and protecting mental well-being. Protect your peace!
Seeking Immediate Support from Trusted Friends, Mental Health Professionals (if available) or Hotlines
You don’t have to go through it alone.
A quick call or text to someone who understands can provide grounding in the moment.
LGBTQ+ hotlines are trained to offer compassionate, affirming support during crises.
This may be used with some forethought though, because in some states or areas, hotlines and such may be ‘overly excited’ to call police which may not be ideal for marginalized individuals/BIPOC individuals.
Here is a page of mental health and suicide hotlines for LGBTQ+ individuals that DO NOT call the police: here
Building Resilience and Long-Term Coping Mechanisms
This can be through connecting with LGBTQ+ Community and Support Networks
Being part of a supportive group can be a lifeline.
Finding others who’ve experienced similar challenges and shared lived experiences fosters belonging, connection, and hope.
Community centers and online forums if you are in a rural or non-accepting area offer safe places to share and receive encouragement.
Finding Validation and Affirmation
Validation means having your feelings, identity, and experiences recognized.
Whether from loved ones, peers, or mentors, affirmation reminds you that your identity is not only valid but valuable, even in the face of discrimination against LGBTQ people.
Find What Makes You Smile!
Its not health or LGBTQ+ related, but I like the penguin live cam, penguins are sooo cute and make me smile. I think it’s important to find something that makes you smile, whether that’s baby penguins, music, a hobby, going outside, or whatever floats you boat.
When things are bad (or good - you don’t have to use coping mechanisms or sources of joy or whatever only when things are tough!), it’s important to have something you can have as an outlet or turn to as a break - it’s hard to be sad when looking at the cutest and fluffiest baby penguin that isn’t AI (they fit in the palm of the zookeepers hand, literally so cute. Can’t recommend it enough.)
1000000% recommend little blue penguins live cam (fairy penguins) too - the tiniest species of penguin and the MOST adorable (look at their nest cam and see the babies!
If you hate penguins (weird, but fine I guess), there is a koala bear live cam (pretty cute!)
A platypus live cam (the only mammal that can lay eggs!)
And a red panda live cam (pretty cute too, but penguins are #1)
Challenging Internalized Stigma
It’s common for repeated discrimination to make you question your worth and view yourself as less than.
Reversing these messages takes time and can start by P=practice noticing negative self-talk and replace it with affirmations rooted in truth and self-respect.
Write daily affirmations, celebrate small wins, and engage in activities that reflect your values and identity. This will help foster and boost your confidence.
Seeking Professional Support
Therapy offers a safe space to unpack trauma, build skills, and process pain.
A trained professional can guide you in developing personalized strategies to manage and heal from discrimination.
However, if you are someone with previous negative experiences with therapy and counseling (i.e., being sent to conversion therapy or something similar) this may not be for you or comfortable and that is A-OKAY!
Finding LGBTQ+-Affirming Therapists can be hard, but it is possible!
Affirming therapists understand the unique challenges the LGBTQ+ population faces, just like finding LGBTQ+ affirming GI doctors.
When searching for support, prioritize professionals who specialize in inclusive care and understand the intersections of identity.
Unaddressed trauma can have long-term effects on well-being.
Targeted mental health care can help release trapped emotions and rebuild a sense of safety and wholeness.
Healing from discrimination and trauma isn’t linear, but it is possible.
Focus on self-love and acceptance, surround yourself with those who affirm your identity, and celebrate the remarkable resilience of the LGBTQ+ community.