Protection Isn’t One Size Fits All!

Barrier Methods

Sex can look a lot of different ways, and safer sex should, too. Whether you’re having anal, vaginal, or oral sex, using your hands, sharing toys, or enjoying other forms of sexual play, there are barriers that can help protect you and your partners.

Having IBD does not mean you have to stop having sex or avoid the activities you enjoy; however, it does mean that it can be helpful to think about your body, your symptoms, and what kinds of protection make sense for you.

Condoms

External and internal condoms are some of the most familiar barrier methods and can reduce the risk of many sexually transmitted infections (STIs) during anal and vaginal sex. They can also be used on sex toys when toys are shared between partners.

Condoms can be especially helpful when:

• Having anal or vaginal penetration

• Sharing penetrative sex toys

• Switching between partners

• Using a toy on different parts of the body

• If you move a condom-covered toy from one body opening to another, use a new condom first. The same goes for moving from anal play to vaginal or vulvar play. This helps prevent transferring bacteria between different areas of the body.

• If latex irritates your skin or you have a latex allergy, latex-free condoms are available. There are also different sizes, shapes, and materials, so finding a condom that fits comfortably can make a big difference.

• And remember: external condoms are not just for penises! They can be placed over many types of sex toys as an easy way to make cleaning and sharing them easier.

Dental Dams

Dental dams are thin sheets of material that create a barrier between your mouth and your partner's vulva or anus during oral sex. They can reduce exposure to sexual fluids, skin-to-skin contact, and bacteria that can be transmitted through oral-anal contact.

They can be especially useful for:

• Oral-vulvar sex

• Oral-anal sex (rimming)

• Oral sex when there are sores, irritation, or areas of broken skin

• Situations where you or your partner want an additional barrier against STI transmission

Dental dams are typically placed over the area being stimulated and held in place during oral sex. Do not flip a dental dam over and continue using the other side. If you need to change sides or move to another body area, use a new barrier.

• If you don’t have a dental dam, you can make one from an external condom by cutting off the tip and then cutting the condom lengthwise to create a flat sheet. Just make sure the material remains intact and covers the area you want to protect. You could also do this with the palm part of a glove - more information below on that.

Gloves

Gloves can be a great barrier option for fingering, digital-anal sex, fisting, and other hands-on sexual activities. Both latex and nitrile gloves can create a barrier between your hands and your partner(s).

• Gloves aren't only for people with health conditions (IBD, IBS, etc.). Anyone can use them. They can be particularly useful when you want to reduce contact with bodily fluids, fecal matter, or bacteria (think digital-anal play, etc) or simply want an easier way to keep hands clean during sexual activity.

• For people with IBD, gloves may be particularly helpful during anal play because active IBD symptoms can sometimes involve diarrhea, mucus, blood, or irritated tissue. A glove can provide an additional barrier from potential fecal-borne infectious sources while also making cleanup easier. Gloves don't make sexual activity completely risk-free, but they can be one useful part of a safer-sex plan.

• Gloves are also inexpensive, widely available, and easy to keep on hand. You can find latex and nitrile gloves at many pharmacies, grocery stores, and online retailers.

• Use a new glove for each partner and activity.

• Change gloves when moving from anal play to vaginal or vulvar play.

• If you move from one partner to another, put on a fresh glove.

• Keep fingernails trimmed and smooth.

• Remove rings, watches, or jewelry that could puncture or tear the glove.

• Check the glove for tears before and during use.

• Use plenty of body-safe lubricant to reduce friction and the chance of irritation or tearing.

• If a glove tears, stop and replace it.

• Stop sexual activity if something hurts, bleeds, or doesn't feel right.

Latex or Nitrile?

• Both latex and nitrile gloves can work well as barriers, but there are some differences.

• Latex gloves are stretchy and fit closely to the hand, which can make them comfortable for sexual activity. However, some people have a latex allergy or develop irritation from latex.

• Nitrile gloves are latex-free and can be a good alternative for people with latex allergies or sensitivities. They are also durable and widely available.

• Whichever you choose, look for gloves that fit well and allow you to maintain comfortable movement and sensation.

• Lubricant is your friend. Friction can cause irritation and small tears in delicate tissue, particularly during anal play. Using plenty of compatible lubricant can make sexual activity more comfortable and reduce friction. If you're using latex gloves or condoms, make sure your lubricant is compatible with latex; oil-based products can weaken latex and cause it to break.

Sex Toys

Sex toys can be part of a healthy and enjoyable sex life. If you're sharing toys, consider putting a new condom over the toy between partners or between different body areas. Clean toys according to the manufacturer's instructions.

• If a toy is used anally, be particularly mindful of cleaning it before it comes into contact with another body area. Switching from anal to vaginal or vulvar use without cleaning the toy or changing the condom can transfer bacteria between areas.

• For toys that are inserted into the anus, a flared base is essential. The rectum does not have the same anatomy as the vagina, and a toy without a flared base can become difficult to retrieve or may become completely inserted.

• Sex toys should be used according to their intended purpose, and toys designed specifically for anal use should have a base, handle, or other feature that prevents the toy from being completely inserted.

Most importantly, go slowly and listen to your body (and use lube). Pain, bleeding, or persistent discomfort isn't something you need to push through. If you have active rectal inflammation or other significant IBD symptoms, you may want to wait until your symptoms have settled before engaging in activities that could irritate the area further.

Protection Can Mean More Than a Barrier

• Condoms, dental dams, and gloves are useful tools, but safer sex isn't just about putting something between you and your partner.

  This also includes:

• Talking about STI testing before sex

• Knowing your HIV status and discussing PrEP when appropriate

• Staying up to date on recommended vaccines, including hepatitis A and B and HPV

• Using lubricant to reduce friction and tissue injury

• Communicating when something hurts

• Taking breaks when your IBD is flaring

• Changing barriers between partners or body sites

• Washing hands before and after sexual activity.

• Having honest conversations about medications and recreational substances (without judgement - having trust and communication on both sides is important for all aspects of safer sex)

• Respecting your partner's boundaries, and expecting them to respect yours. Respect is a two way street!

Sexual Practices

Anal Sex and IBD

Having IBD doesn't automatically mean that anal sex is unsafe. If your disease is well controlled and you aren't experiencing significant rectal symptoms, you may be able to enjoy anal sex just like anyone else.

However, active inflammation can change the equation.

If you have active proctitis, significant rectal pain, bleeding, severe diarrhea, or are currently using rectal medications such as suppositories or enemas, it may be better to take a break from anal penetration until things have settled.

Listen to your body. Pain isn't something you have to push through for your partner.

If anal sex consistently causes pain or bleeding, talk with your gastroenterologist or another healthcare professional. Pain during sex can sometimes be a sign that your IBD needs attention.

Oral-Anal Sex and IBD

• Oral-anal contact deserves some extra consideration because the mouth can come into contact with fecal bacteria and viruses.

• Infections such asShigella sp., E. coli, Campylobacter sp., and other intestinal infections can be transmitted through oral-anal contact and mimic IBD flares. These infections are not enjoyable and may trigger an IBD flare in some individuals. Barriers such as those described above can reduce this exposure.

• Washing your hands, genitals, and anus before and after sex can also reduce the spread of intestinal infections.

• If you or your partner currently has diarrhea that is new or unusual (for example, if your IBD is constipation predominant, or you are in deep remission, and you have new onset diarrhea and other symptoms), it is particularly important to avoid sexual activities that could involve fecal exposure until everyone has recovered. The CDC recommends waiting after diarrheal illness because some infections can continue to spread after symptoms improve.

Poppers: A Word About Your Heart

• Poppers (akyl nitrates/nitrites) may be common in some LGBTQ+ sexual spaces, but as always, it’s important to practice harm reduction and be mindful if you or someone you know may use them!

ONE VERY IMPORTANT interaction

Please don’t combine poppers with PDE5 inhibitors.

• PDE5 inhibitors include medications such as sildenafil (Viagra), tadalafil (Cialis), and similar medications used for erectile dysfunction or pulmonary hypertension.

• Both poppers and these medications can lower blood pressure. Taking them together can cause a potentially dangerous drop in blood pressure.

So, I hate to be the party pooper, but having a cardiac emergency is definitely not part of the fun (trust me)

• If you use medications for erectile dysfunction, pulmonary hypertension, chest pain, or blood pressure, talk with your healthcare professional or pharmacist about potential interactions before using recreational substances. Please be safe!

• OF NOTE: This does not mean ALL blood pressure medications have the same interaction.

• Medications and their common names to be most aware of (in this interaction)

• Erectile Dysfunction Drugs (PDE5 inhibitors): Medications like sildenafil (Viagra) and tadalafil (Cialis) are the combination with the biggest interaction with poppers, as both heavily dilate blood vessels.

• Prescription Nitrates: Drugs like nitroglycerin (used for chest pain or angina) are chemically similar to poppers should not be combined.

• Hypertension Medications: Standard blood pressure-lowering drugs (such as beta-blockers, ACE inhibitors, calcium channel blockers, and diuretics) compound the vasodilating effect, creating a high risk of profound hypotension.

Alpha-Blockers: Medications prescribed for high blood pressure or prostate enlargement can also trigger sharp drops in blood pressure when mixed.

If you or someone you're with develops severe dizziness, fainting, difficulty breathing, chest pain, confusion, blue or gray skin, or other severe symptoms after using poppers, seek emergency medical care immediately. Don't try to sleep it off.

If You Choose to Use

• We know that telling people to simply “never use drugs” and other similar abstinence campaigns doesn't always reflect real life. Some people use substances as part of sex, socializing, or exploring pleasure. Life is not always simple, cut and dry, and that is okay (and part of what makes life cool!)

• if you choose to use a substance, knowing how to reduce the risks can help you stay safer.

A few things to keep in mind:

• Know what you're taking. Substances sold recreationally may not always contain exactly what you expect, and products can vary in strength or concentration.

• Avoid mixing substances when possible. Combining drugs, alcohol, prescription medications, or other substances can create effects that are difficult to predict. Some combinations can be particularly dangerous.

• Give substances time to take effect. Taking more because you don't feel the effects immediately can increase the risk of accidentally taking too much.

• Don't use alone when you can avoid it. If something goes wrong, having someone you trust nearby can make it much easier to get help.

• Have a plan before you start. Decide what your boundaries are, who you want to have sex with, what activities you're comfortable with, and what you will do if you start feeling unwell.

• Keep water nearby and pay attention to your body. Dehydration, overheating, and exhaustion can make a sexual experience much harder on your body. This can be especially important when living with IBD.

• Keep safer-sex supplies within reach. Have condoms, gloves, dental dams, and lubricant available before you need them. It is much easier to make safer choices when the supplies are already there.

• Remember that being intoxicated can affect consent. If you or your partner is too intoxicated to communicate clearly, make decisions, or give meaningful consent, pause sexual activity.

• Have an exit plan. Make sure you can get home safely and have a trusted person you can contact if you need help.

• If something goes wrong, get help. Don't be afraid to tell medical professionals what you took. Accurate information can help them treat you appropriately and quickly.

And If You Have IBD

Your body may respond differently when you're dealing with a flare, diarrhea, dehydration, bleeding, pain, or significant inflammation. Pay attention to those signals. If you're already feeling physically unwell, adding substances, prolonged sexual activity, or dehydration may make things harder on your body.

You don't have to be completely sober, symptom-free, or “perfect” to practice harm reduction. The goal isn't perfection - like the wise Hannah Montana once said, nobody is perfect! The goal is getting home safe, protecting yourself and your partners, and having the information you need to make informed choices.

If you use substances during sex, consider telling a trusted partner what you've taken and where your medications are kept. If you become very confused, lose consciousness, have difficulty breathing, develop chest pain, have a seizure, or otherwise seem seriously unwell, get emergency medical help immediately.

Take Care of Yourself Before and After

Safer sex doesn't end when sex does.

Be Kind to Yourself and Your Butt

• If you've been having anal sex or other anal play, your rectal area may need a little extra care—especially when you have IBD.

• Wash the outside of the anus and surrounding skin gently with warm water and, if needed, a mild unscented cleanser.

Do not put soap inside your rectum.

• The inside of the rectum is not meant to be scrubbed or washed with soap. Soap can irritate and dry out sensitive tissue, which is particularly important to keep in mind if you already experience inflammation or irritation from IBD.

• You also don't need to aggressively douche or clean yourself to have sex. Over-cleaning can cause irritation and make an already sensitive area feel worse.

• If you experience persistent pain, bleeding, sores, or irritation after sexual activity, give your body a break and talk with your healthcare professional.

Aftercare Is Part of Safer Sex (and good sex, and caring sex, and enjoyable sex)

• Aftercare can mean different things for different people.

• Maybe you need to shower, hydrate, take your medications, change into comfortable clothes, cuddle with your partner, or simply have some quiet time.

• If you have IBD, you may also need to pay attention to symptoms that develop after sex. Give yourself permission to rest.

• And your partner or partners can be part of that process.

• Having someone who understands your body, respects your boundaries, and cares about how you're feeling is part of safer sex, too.

• You deserve partners who don't make you feel embarrassed about your IBD, your body, your bathroom needs, or your limits.

• Sex should be something you participate in, not something you endure or power through.

There is no single “right”or “safest” way to have sex.

What feels good, comfortable, and affirming can look different for everyone. Safer sex isn't about eliminating every risk or following a perfect set of rules; it's about finding the tools and practices that work for you, your body, and your partners. There may not be a completely “safe” way to have sex, but there are always safer ways to have the sex you want. The best protection is the protection that works for your body, your partners, and the sexual activities you actually enjoy.

References

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2. Planned Parenthood. Safer sex. Planned Parenthood. Accessed August 7, 2026. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/stds-hiv-safer-sex/safer-sex

3. Pepper N, Zúñiga ML, Corliss HL. Use of poppers (nitrite inhalants) among young men who have sex with men with HIV: A clinic-based qualitative study. BMC Public Health. 2024;24(1):1741. Published 2024 Jun 29. doi:10.1186/s12889-024-19284-1

4. University of Oregon University Health Services. Protection Connection Safer Sex Guide. University of Oregon. Accessed August 7, 2026. https://health.uoregon.edu/protection-connection-safer-sex-guide

5. Sexuality Education Resource Centre. Safer sex: Gloves. Sexuality Education Resource Centre Manitoba. Accessed August 7, 2026. https://serc.mb.ca/sexual-health-info/safer-sex-stbbis/safer-sex/gloves/

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7. Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States. Safer sex [PDF]. SIECUS. Accessed August 7, 2026. https://www.sexualityeducation.com/pdf/safersex.pdf

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